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We say in the Psych Rehab industry “Goals drive the rehab process.”
One of the important goals we think about early in life, and set for ourselves, (or have someone else set for us) comes in form of an annoying question:
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Me choosing RU (mini-story of coming full circle) and my 1st career choice.
*vet (earliest, going to Cornell)
Matt (brother) – ice cream man (there’s nothing wrong with this)
Without goals, you’re spinning your wheels in the DTD – Your goal ends up defaulting to “Get the necessary shit done”
Key Info for this Podcast:
What’s a goal? An objective that someone strives to attain. “A means to an end” The end is the goal, where you want to be. Looking at Wikipedia, they mention goals having intrinsic value as well, and I’d agree with that. Think back to the story about me and my mom. Her goal had no value for me.
Why set a goal? So you know where you’re going. Think about someone setting sail without a goal (end point). What ends up happening? You meander aimlessly. Unless your goal was simply to explore, you usually want to be able to direct your attention somewhere purposeful, rather than meander aimlessly.
You also set a goal in order to harness motivation. Motivation is an enormous variable in this equation that we will speak in great depth about in future podcasts.
How to do it:
Basic process is as follows: First, think about the highly satisfying areas of your life; try to identify the passion. Where does it lie? Then turn your attention to the areas in your life where you are dissatisfied.
Think big first. What moves you?
Then we’re going to start small.
What can you begin to do now?
What can you put in the practice, starting tomorrow? Something that you can make a habit. Healthy habit-forming will be the main strategy that I encourage and teach as a means to start making small, incremental changes in your life that will inevitably lead to big change.
Research on habits:
Lally, P., van Jaarsveld, C.M., Potts, H.W., & Wardle, J. (2010). How are habits formed: Modeling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998.
Choose a goal from 1 of 3 areas: Eating, Drinking, or Exercise
People tracked how often they completed tasks related to the goal over 12 weeks
Ran a regression analysis, got a non-linear curve (predictive model); model fit for 62 of 96 participants
Mean time to reach 95% on “Automaticy scores”= 66 days w/ range of 18 – 254 days
So, to double back….
Here’s your “home exercise” (not homework)
What’s your goal? (They’ll be a thread in the forum for everyone to post their goals).
Domains where you might see goals originate—> Living/Learning/Working/Socializing
Examples of each:
Living “I want to move off campus” or “I want to lose ___ pounds”
Learning “I want to obtain a degree in _______” or “I want to learn how to sew”
Working “I want to get a job doing ______” or I want to earn ____ extra $ in a P/T job”
Socializing “I would like to develop an intimate relationship” or “I would like to make ___ new friends”
Many times your big goal revolves around some kind of transformation into a new role.
Think about roles (student, boyfriend/girlfriend, employee, son/daughter, friend)
How do you you envision yourself in each of these different roles; it’s like looking through a different lens or filter with each one.
Have you anticipating a transformation? It’s time to embrace it.
Once you have your goal in mind, it’s time to write it down, and make a plan. This creates ownership, and ensures you won’t forget it. Might sound dumb, but it happens everyday. This will be the topic for next podcast.
So, an answer to the question of “What do you want to be when you grow up?” that might get people to starting thinking twice before they ask that stupid question ever again might be “I’m not waiting until I grow up to become something, I’m doing it right now. What, you don’t see it? How friggin’ dumb are you?”
Link to thread on blog to discuss the episode: